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By Harry James

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I scooped up my mother in both arms and made a run for it. ” MY MOTHER SCREAMED IN MY EAR AS I carried her across the cemetery. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I just wanted to get the two of us away from that flag before we got killed. My mother is skinny. She weighs about a hundred pounds. I know that because she’s constantly telling me, “I have to go on Weight Watchers. I’m a hundred pounds. ” Women are always complaining about how fat they are, even if they are skinny.

Remember when Barry Bonds hit his seventy-third homer in 2001? That ball sold for around half a million. A ball signed by Abner Doubleday should be worth twice as much as that. ” “I don’t know, Dad,” I said. I had never told my dad that I got two Shoeless Joe Jackson autographs when I went back to 1919. If he had known that I gave Flip Valentini a million dollars’ worth of autographs, Dad would have gone ballistic. But Flip really needed the money, and I 31 DAN G UTMAN wanted to help him out. There’s probably nothing illegal about going back in time and using what you know about the future to make money.

I remember they had this display case with a beat-up old baseball in it. They said it was the Abner Doubleday Baseball, and that they found it with Abner Doubleday’s stuff after he died. ” 29 DAN G UTMAN The first baseball? “Well, I was thinking . ” I started. At that, Dad got this look in his eye that he gets when he thinks he’s come up with a great idea. He looked like he might hop right out of the wheelchair. I’m sure he would have if he could have. ” “Cool? ” Dad gushed. ” Dad was always thinking of ways to make a million dollars easy.

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